A vulnerable story of rejection
‘Obstacles do not block the path, they are the path’
When you're worn out and feeling creatively blocked the last thing you think you will create is an exquisite large watercolour with the addition of a medium you have never used before.
But within this beautiful painting is a story of failure.
Well, strangely enough, its what happened after I finished creating it that became the failure….
When I began ‘Obstacles do not block the path, they are the path’ in November 2023 I had just completed a busy October filled with 3 events comprising of two workshops and a working artist spot at the Wanaka Arts Labour Weekend Exhibition so I was feeling somewhat depleted, not exactly filled with vibrancy to create. And I was on a deadline to have it finished.
As I entered my studio to begin this painting I was a little concerned about my lack of creative energy, quite simply, I was tired. So very tired.
So what did I do?
I did what works for me late at night…
but it was morning.
I had a bath.
Yes. I ran the bath, filled it with Epsom salts and lavender essential oil and began to devour my current book ‘Whole’
Then what happened?
I felt incredible! I felt rested, inspired and most importantly creative.
When I returned to my studio (hey, lets be honest, it's just down the hall as my studio is at home) I began painting and I was in-flow. I intuitively knew what combinations of colours and textures were required without hesitation and it all just poured out of me so, so beautifully.
Then the next day…
The same thing happened, I felt tired and depleted in the morning so I ran the bath again, soaked for about 45 minutes and was good to go. Rinse and repeat style.
That day's painting was once again exquisite and I almost finished it.
The next day I added the bronze detail and felt electric, I had never used bronze metallic ink before but after a quick test (remember I was on deadline) on a play piece of paper I had it mastered and it produced incredible results. I was beaming, filled with joy and not to mention wonder at how simple it was to prioritise rest to then thrive creatively.*
*note to self, I'm onto something here, remember this.
So next
( it has a $20,000 first prize for the winner so it's a widely sought after prize)
and then patiently wait for a reply.
Well, of course it would be accepted, wouldn't it?
I had won the runner-up prize in this prestigious prize in 2021 and all subsequent artworks I had entered had been accepted AND sold on opening night. (Read the blog on this painting next)
I was actually less concerned with this and more focused on how high vibe I felt from having created such a magnificent artwork in such a short space of time on the tail end of a busy season. And I had a Christmas collection to create and release so I was onto the next thing!
Then a week later I received an email that…
It hadn't been accepted.
It was not going to be in the 2024 prize.
So how did I feel?
Well, it was actually only a very minor, one minute kind of a shock. I completely surprised myself. I didn't automatically spiral into, 'oh my goodness this is terrible, it can't be a very good painting after all …'
Far from it actually.
I simply decided that it wasn't meant to be. That my opinion of it's success was what mattered. I felt it was a glorious painting and was exceptionally proud of it so that was all I needed.
I chose to see the good in the situation. That I would then be able to release it this year instead.
That quite simply made me feel complete and I released all apprehension of the rejection.
So once again I was reminded…..
It's all in the surrender.Obstacles do not block the path, they are path.
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You can either let fear consume you or consciously channel it's energy and use it to your advantage. A lot of us are having a tough time at the moment right? You don't need me to go on about the cost of living crisis and the pressure we face currently.